Blow me, O great Wind, Quench me, O wise fountain and Burn me, O everlasting Fire

Looking at the time now, it is already the new year, I believe this to be one of my last posts because, I don't think I will return here, this place has been a home for my heart, even if I don't entirely trust this place, bits and bits of my heart is here. The time I have fallen, the time I was weak, the time I was down, the time when the world was a void for me, and the time I have spent here was mostly genuine. No masks, just riddles. Some of it hidden in another riddle, some more obvious than others. Yet, when I look back and read all about it, I forget myself. Not just once but more than it. I left myself when I was 9 years old, regained it this year but also another me that was embedded when I was 12. Surely there were times when I felt very cold. I have oaths of my own, but I have no strength to keep it. I wish for only one wish, which is the wish of the second world. Hear me, but do not listen, look at me, but do not see, feel, but do not heed. I have none other than this. My wishes, my hopes and all have been put here. Though there is much to do, I cannot do, though there is nothing left, I can do more, through hardship, one will truly understand what is the meaning of this word "Agape"

I am yet but the Crimson Rose but am impossible to understand as I wear a mask everywhere I go. Still don't get me? Nevermind. Take this for instance, I will go to the Mountains to find a few Wise Guys, but it is not too far away, as I am astray there. Yet, when I see the wise guys I tend to act more open and a bit snobby. Yet, when I go to a Temple and meet other strangers I tend to act different. I act as though I am a tough bouncer, a mastermind, and a subtle species, as no one understands, but when I go to a Chamber filled with people, and only one I know is there, I tend to be quiet and observant, I travel to a far seat and await even without concentration, there may be scholars but I pay half of my attention but there is a few places where I put on a different mask. When I am with some close relatives, I act more distant. I wonder if my fellow doppelganger knows about my true feelings. Yet I still don't care. In time, I will wither and my life ends, leaving my contacts astray with confusion of who I am. They act as they know me, but do they really, but still "How much do I know them?" I have no other answer than this "Not much." Who do you really know better than yourself, who do you know that knows all your traits or you know his? Who is really there to help you? Who is the one who can really rescue you when you are in pain, suffering or tormented? I have an answer, but I don't think you would care. Thus, leaving a painful soul in his tormented vessel. Nothing is true, everything is permitted yet if it is so, then I am not true, neither is the answer to life above anyone else. When I ask a question like "Am I normal?" what can you answer? This is my answer "Define normal". There is no one that is normal, no one that is not special, there is no two people who look alike, think alike, and even act alike, and if they do, they are wearing their own mask as you do with me

Sorrows come with despair

I have deep sorrows and scars in my heart, yet I cannot unveil them, every time I try to, it splits into more. I have deep wounds, yet they mean nothing, I kept them in, yet I have a hole now, everything seems to fall apart, what is a world without me, what is a place without love, can someone mend this hole, as a true friend? Yet the answer is no... True friends are nothing, I will soar to the skies, only to find a myth, nothing more, yet there are no perfect being, just similar... Sorrows too deep will only cause an eternal wound, it can't be healed, but it can be forgotten. No one must follow the path I have taken, as Death is the only thing that soothes it, no one I know will take that path, as long as I live.

Something

I have posted a video on http://helios-vsg.blogspot.com and you need an account to view it... Here's an account

ID : james22.madrigal@gmail.com

Pass: jamesof22

It contains a few clips from a video I am making and even though my exam has ended I have not started on my Gundam Diorama but I am instead making a parody video about Assassin's Creed. Hope you understand... This post will be deleted when my video is successfully on Youtube

Camping on 4/9/2010 - 5/9/2010 Part 3 (Undetailed Ending)

Anyway, It has been extremely long since that happened but I can still remember what happened I hope.

We had our inspection of backpacks with Sam and Bob as the inspectors. Boon Cheng packed the minimal things required for survival, Ru Shen and I packed okay and Edred packed complete with food, drink and etc. The inspection ended and we had to start unpacking the tent as well as make a drain so if it rains, it won't flood. Then we had to setup the tent (which had problems and is mine but repaired by some adhesive tape). Not too long and we set up a 4-man tent and a 2-man tent. Bob and Sam looked at it and then we had our lunch.

After lunch, we had to collect firewood as it was a test to make a fire with 3 matches and cook something which only Edred passed and even he didn't make it within 3 matches. It took a lot of effort and matches but in the end, we had lots of experience and had a wonderful time but also disappointing. It took very long, so it was near nightfall and we had to go to take a bath as we smelled like smoke.

After a quick bath, Bob had setup a bond fire which we cooked our food. Mostly a lot of failed and crap'ish food. Then we were given some 'Real' Food by Chef Sam and had a fun time. Then, Bob asked us to make a story about B.P's history as well as insert some things such as Knots and Whipping, Scout Law, and other things that is required to pass Tenderfoot. We then had to make Twist which was really fun. Then, it was midnight and we were extremely tired.

Next Morning, we woke up early and had a small breakfast served by Chef Sam again and we mostly packed up, received our certs, learned about equipment, un-learn what VSG taught us and others. Then, we were already on our way home and had some lunch in a Mamak store somewhere on the way back. Then, that was another story altogether. Bye for now. Exam is next Friday (22nd October 2010 - 29th October 2010). Then, its Gundam Diorama time

Camping on 4/9/2010 - 5/9/2010 Part 2 (Partial Continuation)

Anyway continuing from the previous post which was quite a long time ago... XD Anyway after all those details, we had to clean Bob and Sam's campsite when we arrived with the last bags. We actually got a few lessons from Sam and Bob. It was mostly about picking a campsite. Our final choice was a campsite beside a bamboo forest, and in the middle of two other campsites. It was all cement too which was rather more enjoyable as the ground was flat and it was a slope so it was a rather a bit less than perfect for the campsite. We put a fly sheet over the ground and had our bags arranged at the fly sheet. I forgot to mention we had to clean our campsite like we did for Bob and Sam's campsite which were beside the shelter. Soon, we had our inspection.

I did not go in to a lot of detail as I am in the UK and the time is well at night and I still have jet lag so I am still tired as it is 5.10 in the morning so I don't know... I am tired... This is still not complete. XD Love the internet here

Camping on 4/9/2010 - 5/9/2010 Part 1 (Details)

The camp is mostly for those VSG'ians who plan to be King Scouts. Mainly : Me, Boon Cheng, Ru Shen, Edred (All those who went actually XD). This was a one day camp to pass more than 1 test. The camping was held in Ulu Yam.

We started off in VI at 7.00 a.m. where everyone gathered to start preparation for the camp (golok [parang], saw, axe and a few timbers [kayu bakau]). Then we packed everything into the Trainers (Bob Lew and Sam Cheong) cars. We then left for Ulu Yam which is near Batu Caves (quite). We also stopped by a nearby Tesco ( A few minutes from Batu Cave [Driving]) to pick up anything we had forgotten such as food, drinks, cups, utensils, etc.

We arrived around 11a.m. and had a new feeling around this area. It was somewhat unlike the GTKYC camps where it was just plain hard ground and wide open area and had sides filled with trees. This campsite was more interesting. The cars were parked outside one of its entrances near an Archway. Through the archway there were many pondoks nearby (mind me for my rojak-ness [messy]) the area all spread out. The ahead (nearby) was a suspension bridge and below the bridge was, nonetheless a river or stream. There were three safe ways to descend to that area. There was one pathway down on each side of the bridge (left and right of it) while the other was opposite the pathway of the left side (facing the bridge start point).

After crossing it, we had to go to and fro from the car and the campsite to completely unload everything. The campsite consists of a Shelter area which is just a cement ground on the upper-right-hand [North-East] side after crossing the bridge. On the right there was another pondok but it had a table. Beside the shelter there was a square cement barrier that held the ground in place as well as enable the ground to be flat and smooth (perfect for camping). Opposite of the Shelter was more square like that but just smaller and more spread out. There was also a toilet straight ahead of the bridge.

Helios

I have nothing to say... I have recently become a T.P.L. (Temporary Patrol Leader) in VSG. I have a lot of things to say as I am going to open a Helios Patrol (my temporary patrol) blog. I am not sure whether or not to create it but I will post the website at the side of the page. Anyway... I have not shown anything in my recent life out yet... I am lazy to blog nowadays but I will be doing some blogging soon. So see ya...

Not posted anything in a long time

Erm... I have a lot of catching up to do since I have been very busy with my scouting life (still considering to continue or not), so I'll just post the latest news. Well I have joined the 'Dance' Performance for the 100th / Centennial Campfire (FKL and VSG joined campfire). The Campfire detail are so

Date : 17 July 2010 (Saturday)

Time : 7.30 p.m

Location : Quadrangle, Victoria Institution

Fees : No uniform - RM 10

Uniform - RM 8

Victorians go free

Life of an Idiot

No matter how I look at it, it cannot change, my life is depressing, my friends... are they true, or will they leave me soon enough. I had a good friend once, then he started ignoring me and now he treats me like trash, I had a really old friend once, and now he tramples my feelings, I had a kind friend but now I see him walking with my old friends, I had an annoying friend, but I don't really care about him, I had a gamer, and now I am beside him, I have a similar character as me, but he cares about me, I have a friend that was ignored, now he ignores me. My life is depressing, I could go on but nobody reads this place. My sorrows will fade, my dreams will die, my faith will be trampled, my eyes will be gut, my guts will be torn, my legs will be broken, my hands will keep down, my ideas will not be seen. Forgotten by the world is the most cruel torture, the most painful and the saddest.

Worldly Matters

What I have seen is this world is nothing... What I haven seen outside of this world is something... The world has great ideas, no matter how we screw up it still comes again. Love is a drag, but love also covers our eyes, teaching us not to fear, as there is love. What people think about you doesn't matter, what the heart thinks matters. Follow your and your feelings, it is the only guidance you have besides darkness. Those who look into the skies above and wonder what is out there, are the people who wants to die faster, the risks of life has no boundaries, thus creating a space, rift and continuum that separates us from each other. One has the feeling but does not act because he does not have knowledge, one has no knowledge because he thinks about others thinking about him and one who thinks about other's thoughts is one who dies early. Gluttony, lust, envy, pride and sloth is in a few ways greed. Gluttony, greed for food, lust, greed for earthly needs, envy, greed upon others, sloth, greed for laziness. We humans distinct ourselves between good pride, lust, greed or pride. Everything is because we make it so, the world was thought to be square, while the good and evil was thought by humans. Humans cause the problems and even though there is a saying "Clean up after yourself" we do not follow. The Perfect Being is yet to come. True Innovation will purge this world but will True Innovation or Baptism come first. The race between Humanity and Religion is up state. The stake of life is below the globe. Whichever sides it falls, the globe will break. Head my warning. The meaning of "True Innovation" is the belief and acceptance of God in Life while the meaning of "Baptism" is the judgement that will be brought down.

Sunway Lagoon!

Weeee, visited Sunway Lagoon today. First time going... A lot of first time stuff... I won't tell you a lot in detail coz I am sleepy now... Will maybe edit this post another day... Will just tell you what I went for the First time... Eh, I went to the Roller Coaster (This is a sad case... I used to go to Genting a lot and I was too short at those times so I couldn't go T_T and the last time I went there was 3-4 years ago). I also went to the Scream Park (Haunted House)... This one I couldn't go because, my bro and sis wouldn't let me... That was sad times... Anyway I also sat a few other rides which I never sat before... My life was saddened due to my shortness... Dammit, I am stating that I am short.... Sien...

White Rose, Red Rose, Broken Flower in the Summit

A flower.

Once there is a flower,

one of life's most beautiful things,

Broken into shards,

but let me tell you the story,

Of the broken flower.

The Flower,

A majestic rose,

The color of the Royal Maroon,

Stained by it's wonderful grace.

It blooms in the presence of it's love,

Closes when it is dry,

The Holy White

The only rival,

But what need is there,

When it has eyes for another.

What object has the majestic rose's love,

But 'It' has eyes for one,

The Holy White it is not,

But the rose itself,

Their path crosses in the stream of life,

But rest assured,

Their paths are blocked,

Whither did the rose slowly,

Not in the presence of 'it',

Holy White,

"You too have the same fate as I,"

But the answer was no,

Holy White had been rejected,

Fearful it was not,

Holy White, Holy White,

Thy ways are like blossoms of cherry

Sweet but sour.

And so whither did the rose,

The majestic beauty to all,

Whither, whither my red rose,

Thy time shall come again.

- This is a random story I made up. This is not a simply poem or some retarded essay. It is a story such as "Once upon a time, there was a dog named Rover, and the story is now over."

First Day of Chinese New Year

First off Happy Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai and a Happy Valentine's Day. XD. Anyway, I am blogging now to tell you about my first day of Chinese New Year. It is a very sad one as for my uncle died the day before and I had to attend the funeral. I know, condolences (takziah)... Quite a sad first day. So anyway, my families' schedule was set back a day. So that means today we actually celebrated the first day of Chinese New Year today... Sad...

Cooking Competition

Cooking competition in scouts today. Okay, so as you guys read the title, today's scout event was cooking competition. Scout Second KL doesn't use no damn stove. We use the burning flames of bonfire, you know the camping fire... Anyway, Lion (my patrol this year) theme was Italamerica which is Italian with American.

Our dishes were, Chicken Steak - Mostly chicken with BBQ sauce, French Fries and a salad, Spaghetti - Mostly a lot of spaghetti and quite little tomato sauce when we presented it to the seniors, American Breakfast - Chicken Ham, French Fries, Salad and Sausage, Surprise Pouches - Chicken and Tomato Sauce (Spaghetti tomato sauce) wrapped in Poppiah skin and then deep fried (very/ultimately delicious), Sweetess de Amour (no idea what it means but it sounds nice and suits its disadvantage)/Instant Death - Contains banana in honey, and decorated with Cadbury Chocolate with a line of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup (sounds and looks disgusting but very nice).

We also had Mushroom Soup which was served with the Spaghetti. Also drinks which is Boh Ice Lemon-Lime tea. We also made Twister which I don't exactly know what it is but taste like flour and water, which we served with the Sweetess de Amour. We had mixed fruits which is yogurt and sliced fruits. After serving it, we had a entertainment, which I had to perform. I played Hotel California and sang it too... Average only. Anyway, we won... Lion Patrol won for the second agenda. Weeeee

Willy!!! Where's WONKA????

Food!!! My aunt came back and bought me wonkas....

Skittles from UK

DUDE! I just opened the Skittles pack and it contains 4 boxes. I was saving the Sour ones so i opened the Fruit. Now look at the consequences. It is freakin huge (compare to Malaysia's skittles)! These are photos of it...

This is the comparison between a UK skittles and a pencil.

This is how the box opens, and below is well... The Box...

Food!!!

Okay see this, I posted I got food the other day, but now, its time to see the food.

Mars Bar Dark, Limited edition, Yum, I think

Never heard of it

Skittles, bigger portion, bigger sweets :D - X.

Father is back

Yeah, so my dad is back and my sis and bro bought me some stuff they bought me some chocolate and skittles. Yes skittles, the thing like m & m but sour or sweet. The only thing that's different is that this is in smaller boxes

The First Day of School

The First Day of School... is boring. Better than my classmates, I had to handle the P.A. for form 1 orientation...