I don't say much...

I am the kind of person that likes to sit down in a quiet place and do whatever it is I like. That, I believe, is what most people are. We like to do what we like and what we like should define who we are but what are we actually? Personally, I feel like an introvert. I don't especially like socializing, and I don't like talking and when I do, I don't say much, but let me tell you that being this kind of person just tells you that I am lifeless, sad and have no friends and I would like to say that all of this is true, but not in the way that you think...

Personally, I am lifeless in the sense that I don't have a life outside my room but is that really so bad? I mean, I enjoy what I do as much as anyone that socializes and, yes, I might occasionally feel depressed and lonely but at least I enjoyed what I did. I also do have friends, but I don't see them as really close friends, well most of them anyway and the friends that I do see as close friends, I really really like them and would like to just hang around them all the time, if possible. So basically, I just want to say that I am also human and that I feel the same way the world does, but what is the difference? The difference is I enjoy what I do.

I'm not accusing everyone of being the same as me and liking the loneliness but that people become what other people like of them. Don't get me wrong, socializing is good, but becoming someone you are not and doing things you do not like simply to entertain some social party isn't. The points I make right now have very little connection but what I really want to say is that I am different than society and I am looked down by society but I don't care because I like the things I do and while they seem wrong to you, at least I am happy with what I do and not forced to be who I don't want to be by society. To those of you who feel threatened by society to become some figure that you aren't, I just want to say, I know how hard the pressure can be and the feeling that nobody understands you and yes, nobody may ever understand you, but smile in the least, as you are actually doing what you enjoy right now. Nobody should ever change you except yourself, unless you're a psychopath that likes murder or something, cause that still ain't right...

In the end, I really don't say much, but when I do, I still want someone to listen... And I think, maybe sometimes, all someone needs is an ear to listen to what they have to say.

In Debating, Emotion or Logic?

So, yesterday, I did the most controversial debate... Well, for myself at least. I had to propose the motion that "This House Would Ban Video Games..." Personally, when hearing this, my whole argument for opposing this motion was laid out, simply, clean and subconsciously... I play video games... A lot... And I would consider myself as a rather hardcore gamer, but not that hardcore as to enter competitions and such. I've played, easily a total of 500+ hours in the past half-year itself, and I would argue to the ends of life to prevent the banning of video games, but as fate made it, my house was to propose the motion, and for the sake of the future, I volunteered to debate for my house - bad choice...

Being the third and last speaker, my job was to rebut the arguments of the opposition, but being recently interested in persuasion techniques, I decided to try and use the persuasion techniques more than my normal sarcastic factual and demeaning methods. It was just for general interest that I would try to apply the persuasion techniques that I had learned, more or less and among them were :

• Speak in affirmative
• Create Scarcity and Urgency
• Talk fast
• Be cocky

These were my actual notes that I wrote to use in my debate. However, trying to implement some other things I've learnt such as leaving the audience with an emotional impact to remember as well as the fact that apparently westerners are easy to influence emotionally, I tried to make a more emotional debate by not saying much but through constant emphasis, repetition and tone. I could play the emphasis and tone part oddly well, but the repetition and the rest, I needed to write it down cause I am not that kind of person. Also, I tried to play aggressive alongside with the fast talk. This was, more or less, what I said for the debate:

"So, think of the children and think of the future generation. Listen to that voice screaming in your head, and for the sake of humanity... Stop this madness before it grows... So, I say, BAN VIDEO GAMES! And abolish them before they creep into your house and infect your loved ones! Stop them for the sake of your brothers and your sisters that we may live in an era of peace and shun away this madness!"

So... yeah... Played right, I put forward the most emotional speech the school has heard, apparently... The thing that stuck, of course, was the part about the children. The effects of that, however, caused a major influence to the audience. I played my cards right and that made a huge difference. Now, a slight reminder that I think most people would vote against this motion beforehand, especially since the audience were mostly teenagers and generally as well I think most people would not like video games to be banned...

So, what was the results from the audience? (Drum roll, please...)

Almost 75% of the audience voted to ban video games!

That's great, amazing! It was a clear difference that most people voted to ban video games (it was of course, not solely due to me) but it was influential. My speech worked to persuade the audience, leaving a great impact on them in voting for our house. 

However, overall, the judges were to decide on the real winners and that was something I did not know about... If the judges were in consideration a less emotional speech would have been made and surely enough, because I did not say much and went over time, it became a factor to our defeat... To the judges, the marks were close, but ultimately, we lost. So, what can I conclude? Persuasion is not all that is needed to win a debate.

Hence, to debate, a good combination of emotion and logic is needed to attain the best results. You must convey a good message to the factual people but also appeal emotionally to the audience and judges. This creates the ideal speech especially for the last speaker. Emotion should not solely overrule your speech but should but placed side by side with a good argument. Also, timing... and teamwork is really important apparently...

I'm not sure why I'm analyzing what exactly happened with my debate, but it was an interesting topic and the turn of the table really says something to me. I would just like to highlight that actually...

P.S. Columbine High School Massacre is a worthy mention as it did have some good video game linkage but is ultimately due to some other factors

... Everything is Permitted

Following my ramble on the philosophy I hold rather true to heart, the world, today at least, shows no mercy in their actions today. There is a table of ethics, rules and law that disable the anarchists, the true wielders of this world. Now, anarchy is the best symbol of humanity and I am in a few ways an Anarchist, but the true meaning of freedom is exactly stated above that "Everything is Permitted", so tear down the law and break the rules of this world, do as you please and make the best that there is in this world and if someone lands a punch in your eye, you punch him back, wherever you land your punch, it entirely lies up to you - though I suggest the throat, to end their life.

So, now you withdraw, all of a sudden, on the law of Anarchy going like "Woah! Calm down, there's no need to kill a person". Well, I do as I please and Anarchy is true freedom after all. Freedom to do as I please and that "Everything is Permitted". Following this mindset, every person, living creature and entity has this mindset. Now, let the insecurity flow into you that at any moment, the person next to you will lash out for no particular reason and bash your head to the ground. Oh, but wait, not every human is that sadistic… So, I should be fine right? The answer – No! The question whether or not you are fine, that is proof enough that you doubt that person in that situation and in a situation where everyone and everything around you is a possible threat, the general-mentality becomes “It’s you or me!”

This is where the issue becomes larger; True Anarchy will never succeed as without order, mayhem is but the shadows in the street, devouring everything that is not light, destroying all that is good and leaving all that is dark. I need you to remember then, as you're gasping for you last breath, lying in a ditch of dead bodies that whatever brought you here to lie in this ungodly hellhole was from the lawlessness of humanity, the anarchists...

Whilst the argument might then become to have total control over the actions of humanity, there is little truth in that humanity should be controlled and more importantly, yourself, it should remain constant that indeed the statement “Everything is Permitted” is the truth. Every action that has brought you here today is due to a cause and effect chain and there is argument that life is mostly luck and a play of who is smarter, has the better genes and such, let me remind you that when you had that very important exam that was going to change your life, what did you do?

Now, realizing that the belief of Anarchy will bring humanity to ruin and that every action you take has an effect, what is the point of the quote “Everything is Permitted”? The quote itself should bring meaning that you are allowed to do as you please, but realize the consequence yourself. That statement is just to ask you to stop, think for a moment again, what you are doing. The world loves to drink and get drunk, yet, is that really for the best? Is that really what you want, to bring a harmful substance into yourself resulting in the possible harm to all around you for the sake of fun? Rationally, of course, you wouldn’t even think of the consequence but instead to act at the spur of the moment as the saying “Carpe Diem” goes, we should seize the day.

The point though, is not to be a buzz kill, but to think occasionally and especially at critical decisions, the impact of your actions. This should however, not limit your own actions but you should keep awareness of your actions. The fact that you were high and angry is not a valid excuse for the murder of an innocent and ultimately it leads down to the cause of this… Your own actions…

Lastly, I can possibly write more in-depth articles explaining in much more detail the philosophy I hold within the words “Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted” but I just want you to realize, for even a moment, that reality is not a movie, you don’t sit by the coach and watch it as it flies past. Remember that everything you see might not even be the truth and that every action you take, brings a consequence and finally, then can you realize, the depths of life.

Nothing is True...

Since the start of this year, I've been more or less forced to learn a new subject known as Theory of Knowledge and yes, it is intriguing but not necessarily useful. The subject talks about critical thinking and how we know what we know and whether or not it is true. For instance, the famous picture of a boy sleeping between the graves of his parents turns out to be no more than a hoax. The media blasted around with the news surrounding the picture and how cruel things in Syria was and how this little child lost his parents, and more crap around it, but in the end, it was revealed to be a lie. This particular set of news is revealed to be a lie and the fact that it is was believed to the moment of the truth is something that not many people realize is the power of the media.

Now, the media is a known tool for spreading news, ideas and mostly lies, but how persuasive is the media? The answer - Very! This goes with proof of course, one hanging in the above paragraph but the other lies within this picture


This picture is as good of a representation of what the media actually is. The media controls what they show you, the viewers, to subliminally control the way you think about that situation. By showing you the small narrow corridor of the supposedly horrible situation, they make you think of the negatives of it.

So, what is the point of me rambling on the media? 

It is just for me to say that Nothing is True...

Now, the full quote is actually "Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted" from the Assassin's Creed game, however, in this post, I would like to focus primarily on the fact that "Nothing is True..." While looking at the above paragraphs and thinking that maybe all I'm referring to is the media, that is not true. What I want to focus on is the unreliability of everything we know. Starting off the media as the midpoint, I would like to avoid more complex ideas but briefly touch on it. A simple question of the origin of maths and whether it is true or not should suffice the thought process of this.

Having known the idea of closed-mindedness, it is best to think that no matter how open-minded you think you are, there is most likely a biased decision due to other factors that I don't really want to talk about. The depth of philosophical thinking that comes with the idea that "Nothing is true..." follows a duality pattern much like the paradox of "This statement is false". One can never truly understand the depth of such paradox.

Hence, what id the purpose of "Nothing is True..."?

The purpose is to have no other purpose than to be a reminder to the world that not everything we see, hear, or touch is true. There are obvious things that are not true such as lies and so on, but the recipients of these words can interpret them in whichever way they want, being as low as to observe the world and think whether they should believe it or not or the depths of the absolute denial of all things existing.

However, having said most of these and not exploring the idea more, I urge anybody that reads this to stop for a moment, release all worldly bounds and think. The depths of this world is much deeper than you know and that everything in this world has a substance behind it. A story might have much more background to it than one could ever observe but with a little intuition and effort, one can uncover much more than one expected.

It is not too much of an effort to think, with imagination that the world is actually the infinite possibility of lies. Nothing is true in this world and nothing will be. So, the limit of the world is only the amount of effort you wish to put into it, so be creative,be positive but carry out life knowing "Nothing is True..."

Time Passes

When was the last time you looked back and realized all those moments that you actually missed?

I've just had one of those moments. I look at where I am now, being able to learn to drive this year and I remember like it was yesterday when I was excited that I have my brother who can drive me around now. It was a time when I remembered saying to myself "I have to wait a few more years then I can drive" and just now I realize I can learn to drive this year. So where am I headed, you may ask... Its simple... Time flies!

I know my blog is often about posts like this and I'm glad I'm back to it, you know why? It's because it's who I am. The year 2012 has changed me more than I remember and all that change in one year. That one year where I left VSG and became a normal VI and the things I've learned in UK has changed me a lot. So, in that span of one year I've changed a lot and that year seemed to be the longest year I've had in memory. In that one year, I've grown more arrogant, charismatic, athletic, confident, rational and more knowledgeable. That short one year that I used to say "Oh, one year has passed. That was fast!" every single New Year but I still have not gotten used to the year 2013 possibly because I am still stuck in the year 2012 because that year was the slowest year I can remember and it made me realize something.

4 years ago, I was sitting in front of the same laptop and in the same room just as messy as this and doing something similar to this which was probably playing some game at that time (AC, I believe...), but what I didn't realize is that I would be in the same position after 4 years, so I ask myself one question: "What have you done in those 3 years of VI?"

The answer is simple...

Nothing...

I did nothing. Those 3 years of my life had passed without much meaning. Each day from then till today has been nothing more than a usual routine. I would wake up at 6:30a.m, get ready for school, go to school, stay back for scouts or some other activity till 4:30p.m and get home about 5p.m and from there I would sit in front of the same laptop for the rest of the day till around 11 or more. A simple routine 5 days-a-week, practically for the whole year and on weekends and weekends, it was pretty much stare at a screen again. Sure, there was some times where I had great memories and proud moments but overall, my days were wasted. So where had my life gone?

Nowhere...

3 years of my life vanished like a breath and now I see life and where it goes... No, not my life alone but

OUR lives!

We spend each day of our lives idling around in front of screens, gadgets and things that we do not see beyond our horizon. How many years of your life have you wasted? I've not lived many, yes, but I can say that our lives are really really short lives. Think of the many years you have lived now and how fast it swept by and realize that when you reach 60, it is already a miracle you are standing there alive.

So my solution is simple. Rise up, look out the window and think for a moment. What can you do to actually make your life worthwhile. To not look back and say "One year has passed. That was fast!" Take life slow if you have to and enjoy each hour that you live that you still have left. Words like Carpe Diem and YOLO have often been used but really... "Seize the Moment" and live a life where moments are created and the years pass slower. That is a life where you can live in a different time than everyone else and where you can enjoy life to the fullest.

*time = perception of time for a single person

P.S. This is why I like time. Cause it screws with logic a bit

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Hello, people!

So today is Sunday, 10 February 2013 (though my computer clock is 8 hours faster than where I actually am and its Monday, 11 February 2013 now), and it's..... CHINESE NEW YEAR! 

Oh, yes. It is awesome to be Chinese, though I begin to doubt that racial term now but I get to celebrate New Year's Day TWICE a year and its just awesome! And in the space of a month from each other-- sometimes less, depending on the lunar calendar! What is a lunar calender anyway? Space tortoise?
As always, the celebrations are a blast of fun because of the food, the fireworks, the angpaos and family gatherings, but mostly money of course! Some people even get to travel outstation to their hometowns which is like a mini-holiday. But sadly, being the overseas student, I've forfeited an authentic Chinese New Year for the third first time already. Le sigh.

If you're an overseas Chinese yourself, you know where I'm coming from. And if you're a not, good for you. I so jealous, but maybe not, I am after all too awesome to be jealous (I lie! Deal with it!)

By the way, I have a question for my non-Chinese readers... would you ever convert and be... 

Whoah, whoah, whoah... Hold on a second, the next word probably would have been "Chinese" and more yabber about how great and awesome being a chinese is, but... I'm sorry... I should probably continue on with the flow

...Chinese?  I mean, it's FREE, and you won't even need to get our yellow skin and tiny eyes. Plus, think about the benefits!

Like...

Okay! I just have to stop it there. Don't get me wrong, but I'm proud to be a Chinese and will forever be proud in that but isn't that going a bit too far, I mean talking about conversion like its a religious sort of thing I mean... Hey, that ain't right... So anyway, let's just use my newly found knowledge about the world and mostly geography which I am absolutely rubbish at to turn that question around. Let's see how Chinese fares against Russians. So, here goes...

...By the way, I have a question for my non-Chinese Russian readers... would you ever convert and be Russian? I mean it's FREE, and you won't even need to get our awesomeness and bad ass skills. Plus, think about the benefits!

Like...
.

• a second Valentine's Day  a second Birthday

• culturally exclusive food (its Russia, baby!)

• wealthy Russian in-laws (let's be honest. Who doesn't want Russian relatives)

• utmost reverence -- we Chinese Russians love non-Chinese Russians who love our culture 

• a wider shallower, but more expressive creative vocabulary of swear words (like ma hai, cibai, lan chiao, sue lei to lat fu...etc сука блять = sooka blyat)

and of course...

• FREE money on CNY (only for the unmarried)  

 I lose for that bit... Not sure what Russians have besides Old New Year, a special celebration which I hope I'm not wrong about. They do however have...

• Winter as cold as -40°C
• Summer as hot as 40°C  
• Spring and Autumn full of snow and harsh winds :D

So what now? Want to be a Russian? Its just as awesome as being a Chinese just with not so much similarities. Anyway, I'm mostly joking about all these stuff. I'm purely Chinese and not Russian in any way and I am interested in Russia and its residents but not to the extent of conversion (though I do not think its possible... In the aspect of race, I mean). But anyway, I've had my fun teasing the post of my dearly beloved sister who claims will disown me if I ever call her... What's the word again? Oh yes! Noobshyt*.

So after all that, I hope you might learn a bit about Russians although to be honest, I barely know anything about them but I mean NO OFFENSE in this post and sincerely apologise if you are, though I doubt anyone would read it besides people I know. I take my claim of "no offense" back if you are Miss Kingyo, though, she can kill me if she want to. She has all the time to do that after all.

Anyway, this post was sort of a spoof of a post by Miss Kingyo and I hope that you'd read her blog. Lastly,

 HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!-Zerg'13-

Also, in preparation for Dead Space 3 which came out already but I don't own a copy of it, yet, I made this...

Yes, yes! It's Iron Man's!!! But you have to admit, it is sort of suitable for it right? No? Well, deal with it! Anyway, the only reason why I'm blogging is cause I'm at my guardian's house for half-term break. That's why...

An Update Just for Fun

So, I got bored and decided to update. There is actually much to tell in my daily school activity life but there is this particular event that occurred recently, actually yesterday. It was raining the whole day and we had a Physical Education class. So there were a few options, prep (homework), gym or activity in the sports hall. So I decided, why not follow some of the Hong Kong boys and join the activities in the sports hall, and guess what, it was a game I've always wanted to play... It was DODGEBALL!!! Unfortunately I have no pictures of the event.

So it started off pretty easy with white shirts versus dark or other coloured shirts and it was pretty fun. I managed to not be a target and didn't get hit with a ball, but unfortunately I was out because I threw a ball and someone managed to catch it. Apparently there was a rule if you caught the ball, the person who threw it goes out and someone from your team goes back in. It continued on like this with me dodging random balls being thrown at other people which are closely in my direction. It was fun until a certain point where the teacher said switch teams time. And the teams were England v.s. The rest of the world!!!! Hooray!

And that meant I was stuck with not so good dodgeball players, which to my surprise actually was quite good, but for some reason, now I was notorious... And this was a particularly epic moment. My infamous status made me the target of everyone in the opposite team when they had all the balls. It wasn't much actually, just 5 or 6 balls being targeted at me, but here's the awesome bit. I dodged them all!!! They were thrown at me simultaneously and bloody 'ell, I bet nobody could best me at that but I dodged 'em all. Of course it was not easy, but hey, if you got skills, you got skills. This was truly an epic moment for me but they did it again after a while and I just cowered after that. I would say I could have dodged them but I don't think I could even if I didn't cower.

Anyway, while that truly was an epic moment for me, it was not the only epic moment I have in this school. Another would be me and my guitar with my lil ol' tramp hat going like a tramp playing songs and stuff in the boarding house. It's fun... Trust me... It is and I actually got £0.73 from doing it once. Forgot which kind soul gave me those coins and pennies but it definitely made my day. I might do it again and ask for a photo be taken just to prove that I do do random stuff like these.

Back to School

I should have posted this post around a week ago, but I was lazy to blog and so on... But anyway, well I'm now back in school after my half-term break and although most my friends in Malaysia are having holidays right now and probably having lots of fun, I'm not doing too bad here. Other than the fact that I have to get up every morning at 7:25 and go to class and study till 4. Well... It's not too bad actually. Considering I have actually about 6 periods which lasts for around 50 minutes before the end of school. I have a break session after the first 2 periods and lunch break after the next two, and after that another break after the end of school till my evening activities. I would post a timetable if I could but I'm too lazy to take a photo anyway.

So, coming back to school and all of this just means that I might not have all the time in the world to do nonsense anymore and the blog was something I would never really prioritize unless its a long time since I posted anything or I wanted to update something like now, so it would definitely be stroked off immediately. However today I feel a bit special and although I do kinda want to post some rather fancy stuff with pictures telling of how life is now and how supposedly awesome it is, I won't! And why?

Cause I'd rather type a whole lot of nonsense so that the people who are interested in this blog might get a bit irritated at what I'm trying to get to. The overall is actually that I am supposedly enjoying life here which is filled with activities from morning to night and although I am supposed to go to the gym most of the night with my Spanish friend, Alvaro, I'm actually going to play badminton soon, so I guess I LIED!!! So what? You gonna sue me or something? No? Then DEAL with it... 

Okay maybe not... Just stop reading if you want to and have fun

Halloween!

So being a Malaysian I have no idea how Halloween felt like properly and today being Halloween night, just gave me my first experience of Halloween and guess what? It felt awkward... So, I'm here staying at my guardian's place during the half-term break here and tonight's Halloween. One might expect me to dress up and walk around the neighbourhood stalking people and knock on people's doors saying "Trick or Treat" but guess what?

Nein!

And do you know why? Cause I ain't got a bloody costume and why? Cause I never really expected to celebrate Halloween, though Slender Man was an option for me but I didn't have white skin and I had a face... So without a costume and no experience of Halloween and to avoid awkwardness and etc, I decided to stay on my bed and well stare at a screen flashing Red, Green and Blue lights into my eyeballs. Quite enjoyable for a person like me, but there's a catch! And its a good one!

- My guardians sent me to be the doorman -

And so I had to... And whoop de doo was it fun... Other than the fact it was totally awkward when three little kids stood at the door saying "Trick or Treat" and staring at some Asian kid with some pedo looking face when he smiles. So it was an entirely awkward moment and I just said some random stuff and gave them candy and I absolutely hated that moment, and I thought if I had to do this the whole night I might as well put on a costume and stuff, so I went back to my flashing screen and had a chat with my sister and she suggested a Chinese Mafia =.="... And I could pull it off, just with some hair gel or something but I didn't want to change and just waited to see if anyone else would come to the doorbell and ring it.

So I waited...

And waited while staring at my screen...

And continued to wait...

Until suddenly my guardian comes up to me saying "Okay, good night then! We are going to bed now." And VOILA!!! I was free and didn't have to say anything else to any strangers and no more awkward situations tonight! Hooray XD

What an experience...

This story should end here but while I was waiting and stuff I got bored and decided to do some Photoshopping and so I ended up editing a photo of my sister, Miss Kingyo, in her Alice Madness Returns costume. And this was the result

-Not too bad if I were to say-

This was all fun and stuff but since it is Halloween and there's supposed to be spooky stuff so I'll give you guys one. I came across this when I was playing with film grain which I later removed from this photo.

So yeah... It is pretty freaky and well I don't like it too much but it is generally the same photo and well it is a screen shot and I didn't bother to do anything further as I was focussing a bit too much on the main product.

So anyway, it was an interesting Halloween experience and I think I get an idea of how things are ran during Halloween and am expecting more next year. Also if I might get a white morphsuit I might dress up as Slender Man and start stalking people at night just for fun.

Update

As some people have seen this blog before I'm guessing you have seen a dramatic change between what it was last time. Blogger definitely changed from the last time I used it which was for a Formula 1 in Schools team blog which wasn't a huge success as there was not a lot of effort put it in but ignoring that the last time I would have checked blogger would have been a year now. I have definitely noticed that blogger is almost entirely different to what it was when it started but I guess that should happen or else it might be something wrong. The first time I saw Blogger after a year my immediate reaction was none other than this

Le Confused Gandalf Meme

None other than the Confused Gandalf meme would explain the feeling of seeing a whole new blogger. Having my own blog up and running again made me wonder why I ever stopped blogging, but then I remembered why... It was because I was too busy with ridiculous nonsense, but although it is not like I have plenty of time to update my blog I do see why my sister now enjoys taking a lot of photos and promoting her blog and etc. To be honest I think I said once that I never understood why people love to take photos of themselves and go "OMG, Look at me! I look so cute/fluffy/".

However... Now I think I get why, but as a teenager and through the eyes of most stereotypes I guess I am just another teenager trying to find out who I am, so bear with my randomness if you want to.

Life just being life

Actually this story is of no relevance at all but I decided to type something. It's actually 4 in the morning now and I should be asleep but I decided to write something before I slept. A few months ago I really wanted to gain the opportunity to play in the closed beta of an upcoming MMO game known as MechWarrior Online and guess what? Checking my e-mail today I found an e-mail stating I can finally play the Closed Beta of MechWarrior Online!

YAY!

But guess what?

Life decided to just be life and there was another e-mail from MechWarrior Online. o.0... And what does it say? It says starting tomorrow MechWarrior will be Open Beta! Hooray!!! Well, NO! Not hooray cause I've been waiting months to gain access to the closed beta and once you gave it to me you decided to go Open Beta! Fine... My fault anyway since I did not check my e-mail earlier, but its alright cause I do not think my laptop can support it anyway. At least I have Hawken's closed beta to play still :P

Moral of the story? Life likes to throw lemons at you.

So what do you do with lemons? You make combustible lemons and throw it at Life's house! Don't make lemonades, take Life back!

P.S. That was from Cave Johnson from Portal 2. He says something along those lines

Reawakening

After a year of slumber, I decided it was time to open my blog back. I don't know why... Maybe because I have too much time at hand. I actually forgot about this blog for a long long time now and thinking back, there was a reason why I sort of closed this blog down. I don't really remember when actually but I remember why and it is a reason I'd rather keep to myself.

There were apparently times where I think I might have been under depression and was kinda emo and all sorts but they were rather fun times as I started thinking about the world and produced one of the best advice I have ever given. It was the one entitled "Life is more than perfect" and thinking back, that post was just slightly more than a year and it seems way longer than that. There are apparently quite a lot of weird things in my life and well in a way you can see how much I've changed, or at least a mask I put on for a "season". Still, my life is an epic story and a weird tale full of retardedness and randomness. This might be an awakening of a new blogger or just a lonely emo kid who wants to tell the world his tale but whatever it might be at least I know that I've kept a piece of me on the internet (besides Facebook).

Good deeds, better deeds

Its been some time since I started thinking again, and its not something I should do too often... Marvels of life are contained in meaningless words... I often wondered if the world expects me to be something that I fail to be, and often I find the answer is yes. No matter how many things that I have done, good and bad, I still find no satisfaction in it. People call me good, people call me bad. You can call me two-faced but am I really two-faced, or am I just a bit of both. Then again, people have different outlooks on personalities. Some people think doing a single good deed is able to erase all the bad, but some people would go to the extents of death and still think it is not enough. I shall not judge, but to those people who just give up a small piece of their life for someone else and think that is great compared to other people, think of this. Many people out there are willing to take the blame for someone else's mistake. Out there, people are willing to do more than just that, and you can show it out by putting on a mask and just doing "charity" here and there, but if its all just for fame, its still good in other people's perception, but in their heart, they are just comparing to themselves who has done nothing. Its about time these selfish people stop comparing themselves to the worst but rather compare it to the good. I cannot push further the sorrow that others bear for humanity. Those good lives that has been ravaged, tortured and destroyed because of the greed of other people. These people that took it, surely you have a guilty conscience in you and that's a reason for you to do a good deed, but is it enough? I can give you answers, its just whether you want to listen or not. Take heed of these words and expand it on your own thoughts. Even if the world cannot understand, I thank you for hearing my rambles about my thoughts.

Life is more than perfect

I am sure no one visits here, but I now know that my life is more than perfect and to those who think life is hell, let me tell you this, look at your life. If you are a beggar on the streets, think of this, I still have my arms and legs, and if you a bit defected, think this, I have a life better than the rest because, I know what it feels like to not have it, and I appreciate those things even more. Your life is not bad, its just that you take everything, especially friends, for granted. Your life is not meaningless, and if you still feel empty, look around, look at those people who want to suicide, you have a life that God gave you. Don't ever think of taking it away. This is my logic. Everyone has a number, and this number is usually talents. You were born with some defects. To those who have a complete body, you don't have the will to go too far because you take it for granted, and to those who are defected, you know what you are missing and you want to achieve higher than the rest. To everyone, your life is more than just a puppet tool. I don't want people to read this and think, this is crap. This is YOUR life I am talking about. You think you're poor, let me tell you this, you have had more life experience than you will ever know. I am doing fine, but I can say, I don't know much about the world. I am cooped in a cage, but for the price of living a good and healthy life. I want you to know, look at yourself, don't feel like dying or anything else, because when you endured the hell of life, you will come to a part that you feel like living. Don't EVER think of dying. I can't express this enough. To those greedy people, I don't blame you and I certainly do not want to offend you, but listen to my plea. I want you to look at yourself, before thinking of others. Say my life is perfect. You have everything, but you just don't know it. Live... Don't ever want death, but when death comes, accept it with a smile, because you know your life was perfect and your time is more than up. Live on with a smile, because you will always be perfect. You know the feeling when you are in love, and you know that THAT is the most exquisite feeling you will ever know. Life is the same, so don't take anything for granted and every night when you want to sleep, look at what your life is. Never forget this words. These may change your life forever

Minecraft Server

Minecraft server created... 1/1000000 wishes made true... only 999999 wishes left. Btw you need Hamachi to join.

Hamachi Server : "Minecraft Ser" Pass : "12345"

Then copy Kyzer's IP and have some fun.

To change your name go download Quick Memory Editor.

Use javaw as a task and search "Player" capital P and the data type as String

Then change the "Playerl" data l is replaced with a square sort of thing, the data type will be WideString.

Hope you get it. Btw change it to a 6 letter based name, like mine is Kyzerr XD Gonna find a better one

Blow me, O great Wind, Quench me, O wise fountain and Burn me, O everlasting Fire

Looking at the time now, it is already the new year, I believe this to be one of my last posts because, I don't think I will return here, this place has been a home for my heart, even if I don't entirely trust this place, bits and bits of my heart is here. The time I have fallen, the time I was weak, the time I was down, the time when the world was a void for me, and the time I have spent here was mostly genuine. No masks, just riddles. Some of it hidden in another riddle, some more obvious than others. Yet, when I look back and read all about it, I forget myself. Not just once but more than it. I left myself when I was 9 years old, regained it this year but also another me that was embedded when I was 12. Surely there were times when I felt very cold. I have oaths of my own, but I have no strength to keep it. I wish for only one wish, which is the wish of the second world. Hear me, but do not listen, look at me, but do not see, feel, but do not heed. I have none other than this. My wishes, my hopes and all have been put here. Though there is much to do, I cannot do, though there is nothing left, I can do more, through hardship, one will truly understand what is the meaning of this word "Agape"

I am yet but the Crimson Rose but am impossible to understand as I wear a mask everywhere I go. Still don't get me? Nevermind. Take this for instance, I will go to the Mountains to find a few Wise Guys, but it is not too far away, as I am astray there. Yet, when I see the wise guys I tend to act more open and a bit snobby. Yet, when I go to a Temple and meet other strangers I tend to act different. I act as though I am a tough bouncer, a mastermind, and a subtle species, as no one understands, but when I go to a Chamber filled with people, and only one I know is there, I tend to be quiet and observant, I travel to a far seat and await even without concentration, there may be scholars but I pay half of my attention but there is a few places where I put on a different mask. When I am with some close relatives, I act more distant. I wonder if my fellow doppelganger knows about my true feelings. Yet I still don't care. In time, I will wither and my life ends, leaving my contacts astray with confusion of who I am. They act as they know me, but do they really, but still "How much do I know them?" I have no other answer than this "Not much." Who do you really know better than yourself, who do you know that knows all your traits or you know his? Who is really there to help you? Who is the one who can really rescue you when you are in pain, suffering or tormented? I have an answer, but I don't think you would care. Thus, leaving a painful soul in his tormented vessel. Nothing is true, everything is permitted yet if it is so, then I am not true, neither is the answer to life above anyone else. When I ask a question like "Am I normal?" what can you answer? This is my answer "Define normal". There is no one that is normal, no one that is not special, there is no two people who look alike, think alike, and even act alike, and if they do, they are wearing their own mask as you do with me

Sorrows come with despair

I have deep sorrows and scars in my heart, yet I cannot unveil them, every time I try to, it splits into more. I have deep wounds, yet they mean nothing, I kept them in, yet I have a hole now, everything seems to fall apart, what is a world without me, what is a place without love, can someone mend this hole, as a true friend? Yet the answer is no... True friends are nothing, I will soar to the skies, only to find a myth, nothing more, yet there are no perfect being, just similar... Sorrows too deep will only cause an eternal wound, it can't be healed, but it can be forgotten. No one must follow the path I have taken, as Death is the only thing that soothes it, no one I know will take that path, as long as I live.

Something

I have posted a video on http://helios-vsg.blogspot.com and you need an account to view it... Here's an account

ID : james22.madrigal@gmail.com

Pass: jamesof22

It contains a few clips from a video I am making and even though my exam has ended I have not started on my Gundam Diorama but I am instead making a parody video about Assassin's Creed. Hope you understand... This post will be deleted when my video is successfully on Youtube

Camping on 4/9/2010 - 5/9/2010 Part 3 (Undetailed Ending)

Anyway, It has been extremely long since that happened but I can still remember what happened I hope.

We had our inspection of backpacks with Sam and Bob as the inspectors. Boon Cheng packed the minimal things required for survival, Ru Shen and I packed okay and Edred packed complete with food, drink and etc. The inspection ended and we had to start unpacking the tent as well as make a drain so if it rains, it won't flood. Then we had to setup the tent (which had problems and is mine but repaired by some adhesive tape). Not too long and we set up a 4-man tent and a 2-man tent. Bob and Sam looked at it and then we had our lunch.

After lunch, we had to collect firewood as it was a test to make a fire with 3 matches and cook something which only Edred passed and even he didn't make it within 3 matches. It took a lot of effort and matches but in the end, we had lots of experience and had a wonderful time but also disappointing. It took very long, so it was near nightfall and we had to go to take a bath as we smelled like smoke.

After a quick bath, Bob had setup a bond fire which we cooked our food. Mostly a lot of failed and crap'ish food. Then we were given some 'Real' Food by Chef Sam and had a fun time. Then, Bob asked us to make a story about B.P's history as well as insert some things such as Knots and Whipping, Scout Law, and other things that is required to pass Tenderfoot. We then had to make Twist which was really fun. Then, it was midnight and we were extremely tired.

Next Morning, we woke up early and had a small breakfast served by Chef Sam again and we mostly packed up, received our certs, learned about equipment, un-learn what VSG taught us and others. Then, we were already on our way home and had some lunch in a Mamak store somewhere on the way back. Then, that was another story altogether. Bye for now. Exam is next Friday (22nd October 2010 - 29th October 2010). Then, its Gundam Diorama time